Those Who Get Left Behind
by Lancelotlaureate
Summary: What if Ian hadn't gone with Barbara to the junkyard and then found out she had disappeared?


Susan giggled as she helped her grandfather steady the TARDIS after yet another turbulent landing. She watched as Ian and Barbara instinctively reached out for the other and steadied themselves against the side of the console.

She giggled again much more playfully than before. "It's a good job you have each other otherwise one of you might fall."

Barbara looked sternly at her former pupil. "Are we to assume from your joke that you think we wouldn't be alright if we were alone here?"

"Well, I don't mean it like that, but it would be very different wouldn't it? Imagine you came alone Barbara, and Ian was left behind looking for you. How terrible it would be."

"Barbara would make it don't you worry," Ian said.

"Yes, but would you make it on Earth without her?" Susan asked.

"Of course," Ian said. "I'd miss her, but I'd have to get on with things surely?"

"Ian and I would be sad but we'd get on just fine."

…

It was with predictable regularity that Barbara poked her head around Ian's classroom door. It was three-thirty on a foggy November day and she put to him her concerns involving their peculiar and unearthly pupil Susan Foreman.

"I thought we should follow her and see where she goes," Barbara said as Ian cleared up by the sink.

"I'd love to help Barbara, only tonight I'm meeting an old university friend at the pub. Could we go on Monday and check it all out?"

Barbara sighed; disappointed at having to wait the entire weekend to get the answers she wanted. "I suppose so. Alright, Monday then."

"Good, it's a date," he said with a pleasant smile as he reached for the door. "After you."

…

Barbara arrived at the junkyard and looked around nervously as the fog collected around her. She shivered slightly and then with determination approached the gates and pushed them open gently.

"Hello?" she said, calling out into the lonely depths of the yard. She tried not to listen to the persistent voice in her mind that sounded like Ian telling her not to go on her own as it was unsafe. She told herself she'd only pop in for a few moments and then she could tell him all about it, besides she was feeling braver than usual and there was no chance she was going to spend all weekend sitting at home twiddling her thumbs.

"Hello? It's Miss Wright, are you here, Susan?"

…

Ian walked past the damaged junkyard, sniffing the air which smelt of smoke and some weird chemical smells that even he, used to a room full of chemical odours, found pungent and unfamiliar. He looked at the crater which was left behind at the front near the gates, and shuddered. What had happened there two weeks ago and even worse did it have anything to do with Barbara's sudden disappearance? His heart ached. Why had she gone without him? Where were Susan and the strange grandfather who never showed his face? Who had attacked Coal Hill School meaning for the last two weeks he'd sat at home unable to go to work and take his mind off what had happened to his friend?

The authorities were no use to him. The countless questions he asked about the junkyard and the school were greeted with talk of military operations and cold war connections but no one had anything to offer him in the way of explanations or reassurance. He had spent nights in the police station demanding to be heard but Barbara had merely become a name on a missing person file. They'd told him no bodies had been recovered from the site so that gave him hope that she was still alive, but what danger was she in if she'd been around the junkyard at the time of such an event?

The walk to Coal Hill School only took a few minutes but his head was so full with possible scenarios that he felt that the journey had taken hours instead of minutes along the few streets to his location. In truth he was anxious about being back at the building, and as he stared up at the brick outside, he felt the stomach acid bubbling away inside of him ready to rise to the surface.

The walk up the stairs to his classroom had been slow as he climbed each step cautiously, passing pupils and teachers as he made his way ever closer to his science laboratory. He could feel the pupils staring at him, wondering if he knew what had happened to Barbara and Susan. He could tell what was what was on everyone's mind. Coal Hill had been caught up in some kind of conspiracy.

"Did you hear Susan was a soviet spy?" one pupil said as he passed them. "They must have kidnapped Miss Wright too."

Ian felt sick again, but ignored it and opened the door to his science lab. The first thing he noticed was that the window was smashed and had been boarded up with wood until the glazers came in to fix it. His laboratory had been semi-tidied but there were still the remnants of a struggle in the room, spilt chemicals on the work bench and a few broken test tubes in the corner.

As he cleared away and then washed his hands, he was struck by the realisation of his last movements on the day Barbara disappeared. He had been washing his hands then too and he had turned down her request to go to the junkyard. The guilt ate away at him fiercely and he knew too well that had he agreed to go with her that evening then he'd have been there with her for whatever was to face her that night. He knew in his heart something strange had happened, knew it was more than the authorities had let on, knew it was the same reason that Susan had gone, that the headmaster had suddenly left and how his lab had been ruined. Everything was different and he felt it was his fault- that somehow he was responsible for all of it, all because he didn't accompany Barbara to 76 Totter's Lane on November 22nd 1963, the same day the world was changed by the assassination of President Kennedy. He should have known she'd go alone if she had to- her compassion for Susan would have won over her head in the end.

Ian approached the wall where the glassless pane was boarded up. He looked curiously at a strange green stain on the frame beside it and he rushed over to the few intact test tubes he still owned. He used a cotton bud and took a small sample of the goo. He didn't understand what it could have come from. He always was adamant about cleaning every chemical for the safety of his pupils. How did a blob of green goo land beside the window? He put the test tube away safely inside a plastic wallet and returned it to his desk for when he'd send it away to a friend who worked at a forensic lab. He'd get it tested, and he'd find some answers, maybe ones the police had missed or just didn't want to say.

…

The air was even colder as the day turned to evening and everyone was heading home after the long working day, everyone except Ian Chesterton. He turned sharply into one of the roads surrounding Coal Hill School and took out some pieces of paper and began handing them out to passers by. He had spent the previous night gathering photographs to use and had been to the printers straight after the school bell had rung. He'd chosen the final photograph after meeting Barbara's mother, the first time properly after the whole ordeal. It wasn't the way he'd wanted to meet her and his guilt only intensified when he saw the pain etched on the face of the middle aged woman who refused to give up on finding her daughter.

"Have you seen this woman," he said again and again as he handed paper after paper. "She went missing around the 22nd November along with a teenager called Susan."

He scolded himself for not having photographs of Susan, but how did one exactly get a picture of a pupil who was such a mystery that the whole school thought she was either a soviet spy or was living with her grandfather who was one? For a few nights he'd laid awake wondering if it had been true, had Susan been involved in something like that? He couldn't believe it when he truly considered it, yes she had been strange and knew some things well and other things not quite so but that hardly meant she was hiding a terrible secret. Her grandfather on the other hand was a mysterious doctor who refused to meet strangers, and who after doing some digging, Ian had found had been lurking in alleyways doing deals with people using the code word of 'Omega'. That was certainly suspicious. It was the strange Doctor Foreman he didn't trust.

He had no idea what any of it meant but he shook it from his mind for a while and handed out more papers until he had run out of them completely. For a few minutes longer he stood in the cold, letting the wind batter him from all directions, not really wanting to go home and face his lonely flat with his mind not leaving him alone. He'd been a 'take things as they come' man all his life but with the disappearance of Barbara and Susan, things had changed.

…

"You seem very quiet Barbara, are you nervous?"

Barbara stirred from her daydream and looked up at the face of the blond Thal who was crouched alongside her looking at her with a warm smile.

"Oh Ganatus, I was miles away, I'm sorry."

"You have lots on your mind?"

"Well we all do what with this attack on the Dalek city, my stomach is in knots."

She made herself as comfortable as she could against the hay that she'd used as some kind of bedding on the planet Skaro. She longed for a pillow and a mattress!

Ganatus looked at her again and smiled shyly. "Something else is bothering you. Something not connected to what we do here?"

"You seem to know me so well Ganatus. It's an old friend I left behind. I just started thinking about him, that's all."

"You miss him?"

She smiled fondly. "Yes, of course but it wasn't what I was thinking. I was just wondering how he was. My leaving was quite abrupt and he will be wondering where I am. Oh, they all will, but Ian will take it hard, he'll blame himself."

"Is your friend a strong person?"

"Oh yes, very."

"And he does not face the dangers you do now?"

"No, no, I should think he's back to the grind of everyday Shoreditch life, no monsters anyway, not unless you count the year threes." She laughed. "But sometimes you don't need a big war, or an alien attack or things like that to feel afraid do you?"

…

Joan Wright had the pot of tea ready when Ian arrived at the house on Christmas Day evening. He greeted her with a hug and a greeting of 'Merry Christmas' but even saying it felt wrong. How could she have a merry Christmas when Barbara was still missing, when the police had no leads to go on, and when they'd been told she'd probably simply left home off her own accord with no sinister reason, even though the green goo substance he'd found had stumped his forensic friend at Cambridge University who had never seen anything quite so strange and believed it to be entirely alien. Normally the idea of alien invasions and extra-terrestrial activity would have been laughable to Ian, but since the disappearance he wasn't so sure what to believe anymore.

Joan led Ian to the table and poured the tea into their cups. "Did you have a nice time with your family for dinner?" she asked.

"Yes, it was nice," he replied as he sipped the tea gratefully. "My sister announced she was expecting her first baby so that was good news."

"How wonderful. It's lovely to hear some good news right now. Today was a hard day. Barbara's aunt and I tried to enjoy our meal but you know how it is? I just kept expecting my Barbara to come through the door carrying the pudding she'd made. She used to wrap my present so perfectly too."

"Christmas is a difficult time without loved ones."

"I just wonder what she's doing today. It's the not knowing that's the worst I suppose."

Ian nodded and looked around at the modest house he'd grown used to in the lead up to Christmas since he and Joan Wright had spent time together looking into the disappearance of Barbara and Susan. "Your tree hasn't got a star or angel on the top?" he said.

"Oh I couldn't reach. Barbara used to put the angel on top, and well, I didn't fancy getting on a ladder with my knees."

Ian smiled. "Here, I know it's already nearly over but let me have a go."

He took the angel from the mantelpiece and placed it gently on the top of the tree. As it sat there, Christmas lights surrounding it, there was silence for a moment.

"Barbara is with us somehow," Joan said.

…

Barbara placed an angel on top of the little Christmas tree Susan had set up in the TARDIS console room beside the Eames chair. The Doctor hadn't noticed and was too busy imputing data to realise his granddaughter was celebrating an entirely Earth tradition.

"Of course we could be celebrating Christmas in March for all we know," Barbara said, smiling.

Susan embraced her, giving her a tight squeeze. "Oh just pretend it's Christmas Day and the snow is falling and Father Christmas has left you a stocking full of goodies."

Barbara thought for a moment. "Well I'd like to see Ian."

"In your stocking?" Susan laughed loudly.

Barbara giggled before she composed herself and then acted dignified once again. "No, no, I meant a nice Christmas present would be to see my mother and Ian again."

"Oh yes I see. I miss Mr. Chesterton too sometimes. He never liked it when I started questioning his methods. He always asked me to sit down and stop being excited. I miss that."

"Well, missing my mother is a given, but I suppose I've not been prepared for the shock of not seeing Ian every day."

Susan sat down beside Barbara on the floor in front of the prettily decorated tree. "Perhaps you didn't realise just how much you cared for him. You know what they say 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone'."

Barbara hugged herself for comfort. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, yes I think you may be right, Susan."

…

Ian sipped his second cup of tea and gratefully accepted a chocolate biscuit from the tin Joan had received as a Christmas present from her church group.

"I do love chocolate," he said, licking the chocolate off his fingers.

"They were Barbara's favourite." Joan turned away for a moment, and Ian let her be reflective for a minute or two. It was important for her to get her emotions out and not bottle them inside the way he did when he couldn't confront what he was feeling. He let her be silent for a few moments and then looked at the Christmas cards perched on the mantelpiece.

He smiled and then a laugh escaped him. He felt guilty for laughing so stopped almost immediately.

"You're allowed to laugh, Ian," Joan said. "It's me whose job it is to worry about Barbara. What were you laughing about?"

"I was just looking at your cards and thinking about the times we used to compete over who got the most from the pupils. We'd sometimes try and sweet-talk the kids making sure they were getting us a card."

"And who won?"

"Last year Barbara beat me by four cards." He looked down at his cup sadly. "I guess I won this year."

"Well, it was a fun little game you had there," Joan said. "It's nice to think of the good times. You really cared for her, didn't you?"

Ian smiled. "I did."

"But you still lay all the blame at your door?"

He sighed but didn't reply. The answer was yes, of course he did. If he'd been with Barbara as she had asked him to then he would have the answers, but that one decision changed his whole life.

"Of course if you had gone with Barbara, I'd be even more alone."

Ian looked away, unable to confront his emotions; he could barely talk to anyone about how he felt about Barbara. He'd loved her, he'd realised it now, but he wasn't ready to admit it to anyone else, especially not her grieving mother.

"I've contacted Alec Douglas-Home."

Joan's eyes widened in surprise. "The Prime Minister? You think he can do something?"

"It's worth a try; we need answers and no ones doing anything to help us. I'm fed up with being brushed away with the same argument that she just ran away. She wouldn't do that."

"She's a good girl, always tells me where she's going."

"And the absurd notion she ran off with a man, well it's just not her."

Joan tapped Ian's hand gently and smiled. "Try not to think about that now, it's Christmas."

"Of course."

She handed him a package that was decorated with a tartan style wrapping paper and a big red bow. "I hope you like it."

Ian could hardly believe she'd gone to the trouble for him but he felt touched by the thought. "You shouldn't have, Mrs Wright."

"Nonsense."

She watched him open the package and smiled when he pulled out the knitted scarf inside, green and black just like his Coal Hill School tie. "Well what do you think?"

"It's lovely, but you shouldn't have made this for me…"

"I wanted to, it kept me busy. I usually make Barbara a jumper or slippers. Besides you'll need something to keep you warm with all this standing on street corners passing out leaflets. I really appreciate what you've been doing."

Ian smiled and stopped the tears forming in his eyes. He had to be strong.

…

When Ian arrived at the school after the Christmas break he was surprised to see the newer headmaster welcoming a teacher into the history classroom and talking about the permanent position at the school. The news hit him hard, seeing someone else walk into Barbara's classroom and taking her place as though she had never existed. He watched the new middle aged male teacher stand by his desk and write his name in chalk across the blackboard. His writing was awful, so messy, so different from Barbara's handwriting which graced the board like a work of art.

The headmaster saw Ian loitering outside the classroom and smiled. "Everything alright, Ian?"

"Hmm…oh, I just noticed we have a replacement Barbara already."

"Well, supply teachers weren't cutting it; we needed a full time teacher now that Miss. Wright is no longer…teaching with us."

"But she is teaching with us. She could be back any day now." Ian was surprised with how angry he sounded. The headmaster looked at him and gave him that look that everyone kept giving him- a mixture of sympathy and pity.

"I understand you and Miss. Wright were close and if we'd heard anything from her then I'm sure we could have kept her job open for a time, but situation as it is, we must move forward, at least for the children."

Ian stared down at his shoes and let out a sigh. "She hasn't run away if that's what you're thinking. Something terrible has happened to her and when I find out where she is, she'll come straight back through that door."

"With all due respect Ian, we don't know what happened. How do you know Miss. Wright didn't decide that things were too much, that she wanted to travel, or get married, or have a family?"

Ian clenched his fists together feeling the anger rise inside of him. "Barbara wouldn't just leave a career she loves, has spent years passionately working towards in a male dominated world. She wouldn't take off just like that. She sees things through, she plans and she tells her family where she's going. With all due respect to you headmaster, you didn't know Barbara, you weren't even at this school. You swan in here after all the damage has already happened and then you make assumptions that Barbara had something to hide. Well I'm telling you as someone who did know her, someone who damn wishes he got to know her even better, that she wouldn't do this without a word as to why."

The headmaster frowned and then sighed as though he understood. "Do you want some time off Mr. Chesterton- get your head sorted out?"

Ian shook his head. "No, I need to work. I'll be fine."

…

Mr Hargreaves the history teacher heard a knock on his history room door and called out that the person was welcome to come in. His guest was science teacher Ian who occupied the classroom next door.

"Oh Mr. Chesterton what can I do for you?"

"I just needed to borrow a blackboard eraser if it's no trouble."

"Go ahead, second drawer on the right."

Ian nodded. Barbara always kept hers on the first drawer on the left. Such small differences but to him felt like a huge hole had been left. On the side of the desk he could see a text book and as he peered at it he noticed it was the same style book he'd seen her holding on the night she'd vanished- a book about the French Revolution. He'd remembered the way she'd stood, so regal and straight, holding the book in her arms so protectively. Now it was discarded on the desk as though unloved and unread. He wondered why Susan hadn't taken it that night- perhaps that was another clue to the disappearance.

He'd been standing there for a few minutes staring into space when Mr. Hargreaves and the pupils asked him if he was alright. He shook out of his daydream and nodded. He told them the same thing he told everyone every single day, he was fine, always fine.

…

Barbara cuddled up to Susan in the dank prison cell of the Conciergerie Prison during the particularly brutal period of the French Revolution. Trying not to think about the possibility of her life ending by the blade of 'Madame Guillotine' she hugged Susan closer as they tried to catch a little sleep before attempting any more cell digging.

"I keep thinking, Barbara, of Grandfather. I hope he's alright."

"I know your grandfather well enough to just believe he's managed to get himself out of that farmhouse and on his way to us. The people who love us will never give up on finding us. Try not to worry."

…

Ian walked from Mrs. Wright's house which was a short walk from his own flat and he'd preferred the walk in recent weeks to going in the car, keen to get fresh air and keep his eyes and ears open in case of any clues to Barbara's whereabouts. Wrapping the scarf firmly around his neck, he dug his cold hands into his pockets and crossed the empty street leading away from her house.

As he walked he could feel a tiny amount of sleet fluttering down upon him, not enough to lay and make a white blanket of snow but enough to leave an almost magical feeling in the air. He continued to walk silently as the sleet sprinkled around him.

…

He walked along the same road many times on his way to various locations in Shoreditch. The spring blossom petals fell from the nearby trees onto his jacket and the sunshine was peering out from the clouds. Ian took off his scarf, feeling too warm in the emerging sunshine and headed back along the familiar route.

…

In autumn the trees were slowly becoming bare, and Ian felt the gentle touch of crispy leaves underfoot as his shoes trod through them on the routinely walk along the high street. His daily walk was still the best place to clear his mind, to think about Barbara, to never let her memory fade. To the outside world it would seem he had forgotten her but in his inner life she was so very much a part of him and could never leave. Though his visits to Joan had become less frequent, though he sent out leaflets every month instead of every day, and though he had gotten used to Mr. Hargreaves the history teacher and even enjoyed his company- life without Barbara still very much haunted him. He still wondered where she was, who she was with, whether she was safe. The guilt never changed even when the seasons did and he suspected it was one thing he would have to live with.

When he arrived at the old abandoned junkyard on Totter's Lane on the 22nd November 1964 he wasn't expecting to see Joan Wright standing by the gates wiping her eyes with a tissue.

"Joan?"

She jumped on the spot hearing his voice. "Oh Ian, you gave me a fright."

"I'm sorry. I guess you had the same idea I had. Can't believe it's been a year. Are you going to go inside?"

Joan hesitated and stared at the derelict yard. "I've been avoiding it."

"Why don't we go together?"

Ian held out his hand and she shakily accepted it. They pushed open the gates together and slowly walked into the cleared out and empty old yard. Everything had been moved, there was no sign of life or memories or anything that made it seem anything other than an empty space devoid of emotion or story. But both Ian and Joan knew Barbara's story began there and until they knew the ending, they would never have the true closure they needed.

Joan looked at Ian. She knew he was tired and solemn- a year spent pacing around the city searching for Barbara had taken its toll on him. She was worried about his state of mind. "Ian, I'm concerned. Are you looking after yourself?"

Ian laughed lightly. "My mother says the same thing. I suppose I could be better."

"You remember when I told you it was my job to worry about Barbara? That hasn't changed. It's been a year Ian. You've taken on too much responsibility. You've done all that you can and I think maybe its about time I take over the full time worrying and let you live your life."

"I am."

She looked at him, examining him closely, noticing the stubble on his chin, the bags underneath his eyes, the flecks of grey hair suddenly appearing by his temples where there had been none the previous year.

"Ian, I don't think you are. You act like you are and you're coping well, we all have to, but you're missing out on things and Barbara wouldn't want that. Now I know you cared about her very much, loved her even but perhaps it might be alright to take another woman out for dinner or go to the pub with some friends, or a holiday, anything?"

"You're probably right. I just don't want to forget, or to give up."

"You won't be. You'll just be allowing yourself to live life in the meantime."

Ian squeezed Joan's hand tightly. "I wonder what Barbara's doing now. I wonder if she misses us too."

…

"We worked upwards from the three 'R's'," Barbara said as she checked over Vicki who was lying on one of the TARDIS beds whilst the Doctor checked outside on the strange alien world, a world with strange mist and various crags and rocks. Vicki was still recovering from a headache caused by a high frequency noise, so was rubbing her head as Barbara told her about Coal Hill School.

"Oh it was a nursery school?" Vicki asked curiously.

"It was not!" Barbara tapped Vicki playfully and then thought for a moment. "It was a school for eleven to fifteen year olds. Ian and I taught in the rooms next to each other- him science, me history."

"Oh is that the Ian you were friends with?"

"Yes, good friends. I think about him a lot. He's probably forgotten about me now."

…

The waiter of the 'Crown and Thistle' public house placed the Sunday roast dinners onto the small table and smiled. "Enjoy your meals."

Ian smiled and thanked the waiter before turning to his date Sheila awkwardly. "Hope you're hungry."

"It looks lovely, I'm starving. If I can't eat all these potatoes will you save the day and have one?" She laughed. Her laugh was unusual and Ian suddenly wondered if he could remember Barbara's laugh at all.

"I'll certainly come to your rescue," he said shyly.

"Be my knight in shining armour?"

"I should be knighted for my services to good dinner etiquette."

…

"Vicki, I didn't know you'd heard of the Beatles?" Barbara cried in excitement as she, Vicki and the Doctor circled the 'Time and Space Visualiser' and watched the 'Fab Four' on the small fuzzy screen.

As 'Ticket to Ride' began to play, Barbara wondered how the Beatles were doing back on Earth. She'd heard 'Ticket to Ride' when Susan had played it in the bedrooms, not realising it hadn't been released in her time yet. She wondered what year it was for Ian, what Beatles records he might be listening too and dancing along to them. It was funny she thought, how her mind drifted to Ian no matter what the situation. But Ian was so happy and upbeat, she pictured him shaking his hips along to the music in his kitchen whilst putting his dinner plate into the sink.

…

'Ticket to Ride' blared out of Ian's record player as he sat on the living room armchair. He stared vacantly as the music played around him, his foot lightly tapping on the floor but his body too tired to join in with it. Before he knew it he was asleep and the record continued to play until it was simply a crackle of noise. He slept.

…

The last of the huge pile of end of term homework was marked, the wine was chilled, the record player was on and Ian sat comfortably on the armchair trying to relax. The Beatles' 'From me to you' played softly and he sang along until the door bell surprised him. He hadn't expected any visitors. He moved slowly to the door, expecting it to be a salesman or unwanted guest but when he opened the door he was greeted with the sight of Barbara Wright standing in the hallway, drenched from a rain shower and smiling sweetly at him.

He could barely speak- his lips dry and cracked as he tried to think of what to say. He couldn't believe she was standing in front of him and for a minute thought he was imagining her.

"Ian, can I come in?"

"Barbara!"

He didn't even think about it, he didn't feel himself doing it but as soon as she approached him he flung his arms around her and held her tightly, taking in everything about her, her smell, her touch, the way she looked.

"You came home," he said.

"Oh Ian, I've been on an awfully big adventure," she told him as her head rested on his shoulder.

"So have I Barbara, so have I."


End file.
